Monday, 30 March 2015

Being a mom is Expensive on all fronts! :-)

Ok, so this blog thing is off to a slow and triple weekly start... I swear I write blogs in my head as I'm showering in the morning and those thoughts literally wash down the drain. Note: Our water has returned!!! (*Cue MAJOR fresh smelling happy dance)

I receive the odd private message from people in response to facebook, instagram or blog posts that praise me for my positivity. Today, I am coming clean. Turning myself in so to speak.
If there's one thing I do well, it's present myself as an optimist on the outside. What you (most) don't know is I am the definition of pessimist on the inside. In fact "poopy pants" and "Debbie downer" are nicknames my husband whips out once in a while. My coping mechanism is to make it seem alright, and to mask that with humour. It is something I am totally aware of and struggle with daily. Why can't I live my own mantra?

I struggle with daily frustrations and road blocks just like the rest of us, but choose to attempt to be the positive for someone (just not myself) with my uplifting and positive posts. If I lift a few people up... I'm doing what I intended. Lately I've been reading too many articles and news stories about mental illness and/or suicide. I truly believe if you surround yourself with people who post and preach those positive encouraging words, it will help at least bring a little light to a dark day. I have my entourage of people, I myself follow, for those uplifting messages.. and have done my best to remove anyone who poops on that parade of people. I also live with the very most positive person I have ever met, my husband. He keeps me grounded (I don't know how) and reminds me not to sweat the small stuff ... or big stuff on a daily basis. Without him.... well... I'd be more crazy!

I'm a mom of 2 beautiful girls coming off maternity leave pennies. Yes I am grateful for the goverments grace of 1 whole year of "paid" maternity leave and the ability to raise my babies myself for that long... however... when all is said and done I COMMEND those who are able to do it without a significant and supportive other. People preach that money doesn't equal happiness.... but in my world, it equals emotional stability! The shift between the end of mat leave and the beginning of working life is like missing a bus on a deserted route. You've gotta sit at a standstill and wait forever for the next bus... or in this case the paycheque. In the meantime, you're left to call on that supportive significant other to help fill in the gap. This has proven to be "delightful" (see the attempt at optimism there!). Having to explain why I need name brand peanut butter, another sippy cup (I have a slight obsession) or why I paid an outrageous $1.79 PER avocado is exhausting! (in my defense it was because I needed them right away and the organic $$$ ones were ripe!... I got bonus PC points at least, but explaining that concept is not even worth it) I have had to space out the "diaper/wipe run" with the "grocery run" and then the "what I forgot run" to alleviate the total bill (avoid that "WHAT? You spent how much? ON WHAT? Where IS IT ALL?")... and yet having to go all those times and still even spend money is foreign and debate provoking enough that we have started to secretely survive on "the cupboard."

* "The Cupboard" - you know that pantry that is full of "on sale" soup, crackers, granola bars, canned vegetables and fruit, beans .... you can't have enough beans... and any other non-perishable stagnant processed and in my words "dead foods". It pains me to have to ever eat too much from this cupboard in the event that the zombie apocalypse or a Y2K repeat (real this time) were to happen. For some reason I see soup (and other sales) and panic thinking this may be the last time we as humans are ever able to buy this stuff  LOL so I better stock up! Yep...  if you see the lady with a grocery checkout belt with 50 cans of soup on it, accompanied by coupons and disputing that some of the dented ones should be cheaper... that could be me!

This being said I have also come to realize the sacrafices you make as a parent for your children. I just recently treated myself (who am I kidding... bribed, pleaded and practically stole "our" money) to a hair cut and colour. It had been months and the struggle to find the time was real. But man... it's amazing what a new pair of socks and a fresh hair cut can do for the confidence! LOL (the socks were on sale hahahah!!!). My wardrobe is screaming "help me" as we speak from the sad looking black, black, grey, black, grey, navy blue, black, black ... weight conscious, "fluff" hiding, muffin top concealing closet of mine. And yet my children are dressed to the nines, have a shoe/boot and sandal for every degree of temperature a day could be. That is where I find happiness. Providing for my girls. I said to my husband yesterday morning that on this bridge to a paycheque, I've even run out of my expensive facial cleanser and am slowly joining the "reborn acne proned teenager" zone, along with having to use dollar store hair spray for those days I don't have to be out in public hahahah! And yet, I continue to make these sacrafices to be able to afford "princess edition" goldfish, cheese strings and an $80 "all the rage" lunch box so B can be ready for kindergarten in style.

Mom's, we should be paid for being moms! It's a tough job... and yet doing it for free is just as enjoyable :-) Oh poor pitiful me, right?... Wrong. I am truly blessed, and would go without a hair cut and colour for as long as my husband would let me LOL The sacrifices I make for my girls are out of love. But the one thing I wish someone would have told me (and people actually did, and I ignored)... don't spend so much money on a fancy crib, carseat accessories and pointless non functional baby shoes... there are better things in life to be spending money on.... like adorable floral spring jeans and $80 lunch boxes for kindergarten... hahahha!

The things we do for our kids :-)

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Just one of those days

Alright, seriously... since seeing The Truman Show I honestly have this undeniable fear that someone is watching me at all times. Like I am on a TV show and I don't know it. Sometimes I even make decisions based on this possibility... eeesh, that sounds crazy doesn't it! Today was a day for the books... or the blog! (unless you've already seen the episode hahah!)

It was the girls first full day at their new daycare. Simple enough you'd think... HA! I am lucky to be a part-time worker wife. However, the days I work, I put my full week in in two days it seems. I'm not striking up the band to play in a pity party, but I am giving TREMENDOUS props to moms who do the morning routine SOLO! My husband leaves at 4:30am while we are sleeping, so I essentially wake up a single mom (but not really as I am truly grateful that my husband is working hard to support us). My alarm goes off and it's GO TIME! Literally not a second to spare to even vere from the original plan. I probably yell out to the girls 50 million times are morning "We've gotta get going or we're going to be late,"... I think to myself how much I am probably creating anxiety for them in rushing everything they do.... but frig... kids are like molasses... it's like everything they do when you are in a hurry is in S..L...OoOwwww... Mo...tion! Ughhhh Listen kid... I'm putting your socks on today, it's just what's going to happen, you can pick your toes slowly and put your socks on tomorrow... but today, we have a timeline.

Side note: After waiting for the Dr. this week for 50 minutes with both girls in tow (sinus infection for this cat)... I preached to B about patience. Another prideful moment where I should listen to myself.

Anyways, both girls hit their carseats having eaten breakfast, with clean faces, bags packed and smelling squeaky clean. I was feeling like a seasoned vet!

Other side note: We ran out of water this week. Yep... multiple days... no water.... I'm watching survivor right now, and I'm jealous of their water supply, UGHHHH. Serious country problems and a serious HATRID for mother nature this year. She better start getting mad in the form of heat, no one needs another Elsa here. So this day started with my bathing like a cat under what felt like a drip from a leaky faucet. Try rinsing out conditioner like that! (Yes, I had to use conditioner, this city girl is still stubborn in desperate times! hahaah).

Back to the day... The girls get to daycare in time, smooth first day drop off, no tears (well except mine, that threatened to ruin my makeup on the way to work). It's a slushy day... DING, Out of windshield washer fluid, LOVELY. Thanks hunny dearest. Question: Does anyone else think this should be a husband job. Car maintenance includes watching over the squirt squirt (eeeek feminists galore would be ALL over me for that one). I pull into the work parking lot, DING, Low fuel... Awesome! Rollin' with it, I get to the class, I teach for the first 20 mins of the day and BLECHHHHHH... kid pukes on floor of the classroom mid lesson... Amazing, this day is just cruisin' for a blog!

Anyone else have these days? I swear if it weren't for my husband who has literally retrained my psycho snapcase mind, I would have been a ball of tears incapable of carrying on with my day. But he has provided me with a "it could be worse" mentality that stops my meltdowns in their tracks.

Another Side Note: My husband S*&t% rainbows... everyday... all day. He's like a freak of nature, glass IS full, pillar of positivity disgustingly optimistic kind of person. ewww

The bell rings... I scrape up enough cash from my wallet, coat pocket and car console/floor to buy a jug of overpriced squirt squirt, $20 of gas and a lil beef jerky protein snack (remember I'm flat broke, working 1-3 days a week not wanting to ask my husband for $ and have to explain things like the beef jerkey splurge).

 I hit the gas and zip home to get my girls... my reason for everything, what truly makes any bad day seem so insignificant. Cheers to tomorrow followers, it WILL be a better day!